I have seen this before and I still think it is funny ...


1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower. (or Juniper like my grand daughter's teacher)

5. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18.. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.

Hugh Jackman is one of the studliest men on the planet. Movie I saw (Kate & Leopold) not so great. Hugh? Amazing. Can I have that for Christmas please? I've been really really really good.


I get my stitches out tomorrow morning - WOO HOO!

Have any of you heard of this? OMG - it's FABULOUS! And, if you ever liked Firefly, there's a surprise in here for you. I tried to embed the video but it wouldn't let me :-( Just do a google search and it will come up.


Well- sometimes the embed option works and sometimes it doesn't.

Yes, I have lots of time on my hands

Yes, Bernard the Bunny is still alive :-) I actually took these pics awhile ago but haven't had the time until now to post them. Poor guy - I think his ragged ears are from scooting under the shed. I still can't believe it's been over a year and he is still alive.

Go Bernard!!

Kali - my first ever Aussie and the "best damn truck dog" in the world, turns 11 years old today! WOO HOO!!! This is even more impressive considering not many of her relatives make it past 10 and she's already lost 2 siblings to cancer.

Kali, who was *supposed* to be my husbands dog, determinedly decided (at the advanced age of 6 weeks) that I was her person. Period. No more discussion allowed. She has always typified those qualities that make Aussies such wonderful beasties: she is fanatically loyal (unless someone else has food,) completely unflappable, 100% trustworthy, gorgeous, and my main side kick. So while I couldn't take her on a beach romp today the way she deserves, we did play some ball and she had a pretty darn good time. And she looks pretty spiffy for her age!

Isn't she pretty?


ROMP





This one is my favorite - Kali & Kane:


More Family shots:






Kali finally GOT the ball once or twice :-)


And Kat tired herself out making sure all the Aussies stayed together.

Subject: International Cow Policies

Some good cow humor.

DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.

You feel guilty for being successful. You push for higher

taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.




REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.

So?



SOCIALIST

You have two cows.

The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.


COMMUNIST

You have two cows.

The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

You wait in line for hours to get it.

It is expensive and sour.



CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.

You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.

Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other,

and then pours the milk down the drain.


AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.

You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.

You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the

analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.

Your stock goes up.


FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.

You go to lunch and drink wine.

Life is good.


JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produces

twenty times the milk.

They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.

Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk,

and run a hundred miles an hour.

Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.

You break for lunch.

Life is good.


RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have some vodka.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

You have some more vodka.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.


TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.

You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.

You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk

production but use the money to buy weapons.


IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.

They go into hiding.

They send radio tapes of their mooing.


POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.

Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.



BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.

The cow is schizophrenic.

Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.

The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.

The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.

The cow asks permission to be cut in half.

The cow dies happy.


FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.

Everyone votes for the best looking one.

Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.

Some people vote for both.

Some people vote for neither.

Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.

Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.


CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.

They make real California cheese.

Only five speak English.

Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

It appears that this whole "unfriending" thing has caused a massive over-reaction. So - I am NOT locking this post so no one can misconstrue my words. Here are my thoughts:

1. If you are not contributing, you are (in my mind) eavesdropping. That makes me personally uncomfortable - makes me feel like my words/thoughts/actions are being monitored. Call me paranoid but there it is.

2. LJ - for me - is about communicating with people I would either (a) never have met in the first place or (b) to keep up with people outside of the trials. Key word here is communication: see #1.

3. I am sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings - that was not the intent. I feel like someone who has been holding out treats for months which has never been taken or acknowledged, and then, when I put the food away, get a guilt trip for not holding it out there longer. When there is still no intent to actually take it.

Enough said.

How is everyone doing at Regionals????? I have to leave at 5am tomorrow and be sans computer for 5 days so now is my chance. You're all killing me...

Had a bittersweet reunion with Kali and her two brothers. Her only other surviving littermate, Dixie, didn't show which was disappointing but hey, the politics of a small town. I also brought Sizzle and Gale (just because) and Sizzle was sooooo funny when we put the birthday hat on her: it looked like a dunce cap no matter how we placed it



Like mother, like daughter


Also took a video of the day - very nostalgic and kinda sad...Kali was the only one who kept running with the young dogs.

Got this book from my mom about the nautical origin of many sayings. Vic's kennel name is Touchango (which Mia and I kept pronouncing - spelled phoentically here - tuch-ango with the emphasis on ango - like tango.) Well, it is really Touch and Go. So, want to know where that saying comes from?

A ship that makes a very short stay in a port while en route to her final destination is said to "touch and go." In a general sense, the expression describes the act of doing something for a minute, then quitting it immediately. The expression "touch and go" is today most commonly applied to a highly uncertain or precarious situation or condition, in which the slightest turn will result in failure or disaster.

They don't know Vic :-)

And for the owner of a certain mouthy Aussie (who's name starts with an "M" because we all have barky Aussies!)

True Blue (honest & loyal)

This popular expression was defined by Admiral William Smyth in the "The Sailor's Wordbook" as "a metaphorical term for an honest, hearty sailer true to his uniform, and uniformly true."


Did you know sayings like "Taken Aback" and "Take Down a Peg or Two" are nautical? So is "Turn a Blind Eye?" (I am obviously reading the "T" section.)

I love crap like this.

So, yes, I am thoroughly sick and twisted :-) I bought a Manners Minder and pulled it out last night to fiddle with it. Yes, I read the instructions and introduced my dogs the way you are *supposed* to. And I laughed and laughed and laughed. Sizzle's reaction to the noise last night was to jump straight up in the air (all 4 foot off the ground - a total whole-body-flinch) and what did I do? Giggle hysterically. Of course I didn't have the video set up last night but I decided to mess with all the dogs this morning. And I laughed and laughed. This is much akin to putting scotch tape on the bottom of a cat's paw: harmless to the animal and absolutely riotous for me. Yes, I am sick but I have sooooo much fun!

I had a TERRIBLE day...

1. My early morning client had to get pissy with me about something I am NOT involved/ in charge of at ALL. Why is this my problem?

2. Kat forgot how to weave - moved the poles to a different spot in my yard. Go figure huh?

3. Sizzle forgot how to two-step through the weaves and was (gasp!) crossing her front legs. Kill me now.

4. Over an HOUR at the DMV just to exchange personalized plates for normal plates on the car I want to sell. Took a grand total of 2 friggin' minutes once my "number was called." I completely understand why people take shot-guns into government buildings. Totally.

5. Same car - got it smogged and they had the completely wrong info (said it was my old Acura!) which took 30 minutes to clear up. Once again, understand the shotgun thing.

6. Butt wipes at the carwash didn't do any of the extra stuff I had paid for (tires, windows, vacuum inside) and then got pissy when I insisted on it. WTF ever happened to *service* let alone customer service? Did I mention guns? Big, large, rapid firing ones?

I have had a HORRID day and am going to bed.

Maybe Kat will remember how to weave tomorrow.

Kat can weave!!!!!

Mia took some amazing pictures with my camera yesterday - I managed to edit 330 pics down to 180 and then these are *some* of the best....still more to come though...Commentary provided by what I think the dogs are thinking!


OMG OMG LET ME IN!!!!! LET ME IN!!!!!


Last one in is a rotten egg!


I'm not a rotten egg - as a matter of fact, I am going to ATTACK that water because it's evil


Various Leaps


Gale always looks scared


Kali always over jumps


Max the Bullet Dog


TOUHDOWN!!! (Or "I am a bird coming in to land" can't decide which...)


Kali likes to run around and steal the ball from whoever is in the water.


I can almost reach...almost...almost


MINE!!


There is one toy that sinks - I am trying to get Kat to dive for it. She's almost there...


WTF????


Where did it go??


GOT IT!!!


Hey...Vic stole my ball. Sucky border collie....


And just some cool shots!

Kat's water spout


SPLASH!!!


How can so many parts move so many different ways?

Big Brown did not win the Triple Crown :-( I was really hoping (and thinking) he could so today was a total let down in that department. That being said, the rest of the day was awesome. Mia came over for some training, swimming, wine and cheese. All went superbly well! I think Kat had a breakthrough with her weaves today (YAY!!) the goat cheeses were INCREDIBLE - I had no idea goat cheese could taste like that and the wine was a total score! I just woke up from a food coma.

I know I have mentioned my training holes - such as the chute. Yeah - remembered another one as I stepped to the line on Sunday with Sizzle: the triple. Never seen one. Needless to say, she did the jump (good girlie!) and left all the bars up but that made me pull out every "odd" jump I have today. Out came the tire, the panel, the double and the triple. I just ignored the broad jump because that's more of a production. No video because it wasn't that exciting. Sizzle will jump anything (and do it well.) She only dropped 1 bar (the double) because hey, after two times over it, I rear-crossed her. She kept it up after that. Kat was fine with everything except the panel. THAT I wish I had on video - at first she just stopped and stared at it. Then she did this massive pogo leap over it. Once she had done it 3-4 times, she jumped it normal but it was pretty funny in the beginning.

Think I'll leave them all out for a couple days just to proof some stuff but at least Kat is getting the benefit of my screw ups with Sizzle :-)

A friend just sent me this link and much to my delight it is the puppy video that I got sent home with when I got Kali. Kali will be 10 this month. Amazing how quickly the time passes!!! The black tri with the skunk strip and wide blaze is Kali as a pup - is it any wonder she was my first Aussie? She also the one jumping up on the x-pen at the end at the little pup whining at the very very end. She was SO CUTE.

I don't think any of my posts are getting through to my Friends :-(

I am testing to see if I don't make it private, if you all receive this...

So...just checked - and if I lock the entry, for some reason you guys don't get them. So, I guess I am going to go unlock the last week because I would love feedback! And I thought you guys just didn't care anymore...

OK - yes, I am spoiled rotten. It's high 80's today ("real feel of 94") and I am miserable. The dogs and I didn't so much as swim as lounged in the pool. I have a bench running the length of the pool and we were all (even Cinder!) perched on the bench lounging in the water. I thought of getting my camera but you know if I had moved, it never would have happened again

My brother and his wife left today around noon. Remarkably fun visit considering how much I had been dreading it. My brother even made breakfast (AND did the dishes!) this morning. Pretty cool. I also agreed that Gian (my bro) and Sirus (my 2 2/12 yr old nephew) can stay here for a week in August. Oh dear. At least the dogs and Sirus have a reciprocal "I adore you" relationship. Funny - my dogs are never around kids (frankly, they scare me) but they just love my nephew to pieces. Then again, he isn't scared at all. He sees the whole pack - which can be quite alarming when they are all barking hello and leaping at the door - and starts hopping up and down and clapping his hands. Veeeery cute.

I am trying to decide between elliptical trainer (lessen the "YouTube jiggle") or just continuing to sit on my ass. I'm thinking the latter is going to win. :-)

Family visit going remarkably well - I got taken out to my favorite restaurant and plied with lots of alcohol last night. How can that not be fun? Oh - and no more bad dreams so I must have been worrying about this more than I thought.

Despite a slight hangover this morning, I managed to get in a little training this am in a "pre-lesson-with-Stephanie" panic. I know I have a bigger yard than most but after seeing Kat open up at Rachel's, I am getting a little bit frustrated with the limitations my yard has. I can't set anything up big. There is always a fence/contact obstacle/or something that they are jumping into and it makes me set things really tight. Good news is that Kat seems ok with it - bad news is that I can only really accelerate after a sequence which I don't like *at all.* Must stare at my yard more later and see what I can do :-)